Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if we need couples counselling?

If you're asking this question, it's worth exploring. Common signs include repeating the same arguments, feeling disconnected, struggling to communicate without conflict, considering separation, or facing a major relationship decision. You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling.

What happens in the first session?

The first session is about understanding your relationship story and what's brought you here. I'll ask about your history together, current challenges, and what you're hoping to achieve. This session helps us determine if couples counselling is the right fit and establish a framework for our work together.

Do we both have to want to come?

Ideally, yes. Couples counselling works best when both partners are willing to engage, even if they're uncertain or sceptical. However, if one partner is hesitant, I'm happy to speak with you individually first to explore whether this approach might work for your situation.

How long does couples counselling take?

Every couple is different. Some see meaningful shifts in 6-10 sessions, while others benefit from longer-term work. We'll regularly check in about progress and adjust as needed. The goal isn't endless therapy but rather equipping you with tools to navigate your relationship independently.

What if we've tried couples counselling before and it didn't work?

Previous experiences matter. Different therapists use different approaches, and timing matters too. I work with an emotionally focused, attachment-based model that helps couples understand underlying patterns rather than just managing surface conflicts. We can discuss what didn't work before and approach things differently.

Is everything we discuss confidential?

Yes. What you share in sessions stays in the room. The only exceptions are if there's risk of serious harm to yourself, your partner, or others, or if required by law. I'll always discuss any concerns with you directly first.

Can couples counselling save our relationship?

I can't make that promise, and I'd be wary of anyone who does. What I can offer is a space to explore your relationship honestly, understand patterns that aren't working, and develop new ways of relating. Sometimes that leads to reconnection; sometimes it leads to clarity about separation. Both are valid outcomes.

What if one of us wants to leave and the other wants to stay?

This is actually a common dynamic. Couples counselling can help you navigate this discrepancy with clarity and respect. We can explore what's driving each position and whether there's a path forward together, or if not, how to separate with dignity.

How much does it cost?

Sessions are $300 for 80 minutes. I offer evening and weekend appointments to accommodate work schedules. 

What's the difference between couples counselling and marriage counselling?

Nothing substantial. The terms are often used interchangeably. Whether you're married, engaged, dating, or in a long-term partnership, the work is about understanding and improving your relationship dynamics.

Can we do sessions online?

Yes. Video sessions via Zoom work well for many couples, especially those with scheduling constraints or who live outside Melbourne. The therapeutic process is equally effective online when both partners are engaged.

What if we have different cultural or religious backgrounds?

Cultural and religious differences can add complexity to relationships, but they can also be sources of richness. I work with couples from diverse backgrounds and am experienced in helping partners navigate these differences with respect and understanding.

How often do we need to come?

Most couples start with weekly or fortnightly sessions. This regularity helps build momentum and allows new patterns to take hold. As things improve, we might space sessions out. Consistency matters more than frequency.

What if our issues are about sex and intimacy?

Sexual and intimacy issues are common in couples counselling and something I work with regularly. We'll approach these topics with sensitivity while being direct enough to create real change. You don't need to feel embarrassed, this is part of the work.

Will you give us homework?

Sometimes. If there are specific practices or reflections that would support our work, I might suggest them. But this isn't school, it's about what serves your relationship. Any suggestions are collaborative, not mandatory.

What if we're not sure we want to stay together?

That's okay. Couples counselling isn't about forcing you to stay together; it's about helping you make an informed decision. We can explore what's not working, whether it can change, and what each of you truly wants. Clarity is valuable, whatever the outcome.

How do I book?

Call or text me on 0436 418 143. We'll arrange a time that works for both of you. If you're unsure whether couples counselling is right for your situation, we can have a brief phone conversation first to explore your options.