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Had the same fight 100 times over.
Feel more like housemates than partners. Dealing with betrayal.
Or quietly wondering if it's already over.
If you're here, something's not working. I’ll help you work out what's happening and what to do next.
We can start with a free 15-minute call. I'll get back to you today.
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A relaxed, no obligation chat about your situation
Recent Couples say
"Matt connected with both my wife and me on a level I didn't expect. He’s a genuinely good person, deeply invested in supporting growth and change. Matt is the real deal."
— Paul B · Google review
"He keeps it light — and then gets to the heart of the matter. His insight is remarkable and his empathy is very genuine. He really cares."
— Ciaran G · Google review
"Matt’s strategies worked from day one and continue to this day. We now feel more connected than we ever have and have the tools to manage ourselves into the future. Such an empowering experience."
— Marita C · Google review
"Not all therapists are the same, and Matt is one of those rare ones. He has a genuine gift for meeting people where they’re at with empathy, intention and without judgment."
— A Mark - Google review
Underneath every conflict there's a hidden pattern that neither of you can see - because you're inside it. When you both see it clearly everything starts to shift.
Matt Cooksey
​WHY THE SAME FIGHT KEEPS REPEATING​
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You might feel like you're arguing about stupid stuff — what his Dad said about the new curtains or why she never rinses the plates before loading the dishwasher.
But there's usually one of three hidden arguments playing out underneath the surface issue. Most persistent arguments are about one of more of these:
Care and closeness
Do you actually want me? Do I matter?
Respect and recognition
Do you see me? Or am I invisible here?
Power and control
Do I have any say — or do I just have to go along with things?
Once you can see what's actually underneath the argument, things start to make a lot more sense.
Ready to talk it through?
Matthew Cooksey
Relationship Therapist - St Kilda Road - Melbourne.
I work with an emotionally focused, attachment-based approach — going beneath the surface arguments to understand what's actually driving them.
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I'm not here to take sides or tell you what to do. I'm here to help you both see your relationship from the outside, so you can make real choices about it.
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Practical Details
Fee​
$190 per session
Weekend + Evening Available
Session​
60 Minutes
90 Minutes Available
Location
St Kilda Road
Suite 202
Online
Zoom
Equally effective
Ready to talk it through?
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens in the first session?
The first session is about understanding your relationship story and what's brought you here. I'll ask about your history together, current challenges, and what you're hoping to achieve. This session helps us determine if couples counselling is the right fit and establish a framework for our work together.
Do we both have to want to come?
Ideally, yes. Couples counselling works best when both partners are willing to engage, even if they're uncertain or sceptical. However, if one partner is hesitant, I'm happy to speak with you individually first to explore whether this approach might work for your situation.
How long does couples counselling take?
Every couple is different. Some see meaningful shifts in 6-10 sessions, while others benefit from longer-term work. We'll regularly check in about progress and adjust as needed. The goal isn't endless therapy but rather equipping you with tools to navigate your relationship independently.
What if we've tried couples counselling before and it didn't work?
Previous experiences matter. Different therapists use different approaches, and timing matters too. I work with an emotionally focused, attachment-based model that helps couples understand underlying patterns rather than just managing surface conflicts. We can discuss what didn't work before and approach things differently.
What if one of us wants to leave and the other wants to stay?
This is actually a common dynamic. Couples counselling can help you navigate this discrepancy with clarity and respect. We can explore what's driving each position and whether there's a path forward together, or if not, how to separate with dignity.
Can we do sessions online?
Yes. Video sessions via Zoom work well for many couples, especially those with scheduling constraints or who live outside Melbourne. The therapeutic process is equally effective online when both partners are engaged.
What if we have different cultural or religious backgrounds?
Cultural and religious differences can add complexity to relationships, but they can also be sources of richness. I work with couples from diverse backgrounds and am experienced in helping partners navigate these differences with respect and understanding.
How often do we need to come?
Most couples start with weekly or fortnightly sessions. This regularity helps build momentum and allows new patterns to take hold. As things improve, we might space sessions out. Consistency matters more than frequency.
What if our issues are about sex and intimacy?
Sexual and intimacy issues are common in couples counselling and something I work with regularly. We'll approach these topics with sensitivity while being direct enough to create real change. You don't need to feel embarrassed, this is part of the work.