.png)
NEXT GENERATION COUPLES COUNSELLING
Too often, relationship counselling doesn't work.
Couples end up blaming themselves and their relationship. But what if it's the approach that's flawed, not your relationship?
DON'T GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER
In this four minute read you'll learn about the flaw in conventional couples counselling. Whether you're a couple seeking help for the first time or you're looking for a new therapist, what you'll learn here could be vital for your relationship.
You'll also learn about an alternative approach that's becoming very popular in America but is almost unheard of in Australia.
THE FUNDAMENTAL FLAW
In conventional couples counselling (EFT) the therapist tries to help you stop the parts of you that upset your partner and to accentuate the ones they like. And vice versa.
It's all very logical but for as many as two out of three couples it doesn't work. Here's why.
I'M THE GOOD PART
I'M THE PROBLEM
PART (APPARENTLY)
When a part of you or your partner is subtly framed as the "problem", it goes underground and evades the therapeutic process. The temporary disappearance makes things seem better for a while.
But in a moment when either of you is exhausted or overwhelmed it suddenly bursts back on to the scene. With spectacular results 💥
And it sends you and your mate back to square one again. You haul yourselves back to the therapists' office. Hearts heavy with a sense of having failed again.
The therapist launches into another attempt to change parts of you and your partner that are not on board with changing yet.
It's a depressing cycle that repeats ad nauseum until you feel like it's hopeless. It's NOT.
Keep scrolling to hear about a radically different approach.
CONTACT ME FOR A FREE 15 MIN PHONE CONSULTATION
THE FIX
In Next Generation Couples Therapy there are two profound differences:
1. NO BAD PARTS
We stop seeing the change resistant parts of you both, as the problem. Instead we see they're key to the solution and that under the surface they have positive intentions.
Paradoxically, as we welcome critical, avoidant, blaming, addictive, anxious, cheating, defensive or controlling parts into the process they begin to participate rather than wreck it.
And as you and your partner start to engage with your inner saboteurs, they'll finally share with you the secret reason they show up as they do.
2. YOU'RE THE ONE YOU NEED
The secret reason almost always has to do with protecting your partner from some internal pain that predates you. Traditional couples therapy asks you to change so you stop triggering their pain.
That's putting you in the impossible position of being responsible for the triggers your partner hasn't been able to heal within themselves. That's totally unrealistic and sets you up to fail.
In Next Generation Couples Therapy our focus is on helping each of you heal your pain so you don't have to eternally tiptoe around it.
When you finally deal with the triggers you won't need a host of carefully honed communication techniques to manage them. You'll naturally be able to talk about anything without fear of a bomb going off in your relationship at any moment.
CONCLUSION
In Next Generation Couples Therapy we turn the traditional approach
upside down
Disruptive parts of each of you are included, appreciated, understood and involved in the entire process of change. We don't foist it upon them because it doesn't work.
And instead of working around your partner's triggers with elaborate techniques, we help them heal them for good. So you can relax into a more authentic way of being together - without continually having to remember not to trigger them.
That's so Meh! You deserve so much more than that. And so do they ❤️